In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning. —Viktor Frankl Most people say they don’t like adversity. If you ask, many of us would say that this Covid19 situation, right now, sucks. And the last thing we want to hear is, “You’ll grow from this.” Please. Don’t start…
Things are sideways right now. We know. It won’t last forever, it’s not someone’s fault and you can make a difference in someone’s life each and every day simply in how you show up with discipline and faith that we will endure and see each other through. To help us work through this strange time,…
Remember on March 13, the scenes of Italians singing together from their balconies while on lockdown. Throughout the city graffiti everywhere proclaimed “andrà tutto bene” (everything will be alright). Six weeks earlier, on January 28 throughout Wuhan citizens leaned out of their apartment buildings and chanted together “jiāyóu” (keep up the fight). Remember 2012 Hurricane…
You walk in for your appointment. You greet the receptionist. She says, “Just have a seat. We’ll call you when we’re ready.” You turn around and see three chairs, two of them already occupied by people reading a magazine or looking at their phone. You take the empty seat and wait. A few minutes later…
Casey just commented on a post you are following! Turn off your push notifications. The alerts, app banners, pocket vibrations, ringtones, the little email preview pop-ups. Do you depend on them for your job? Is it really urgent? Is it? Turn them off. All of them. “The effectiveness of communication is not defined by the…
We think gratitude is about the past. It’s not. Gratitude feels like an emotion in which we reflect on a past event, or previous moment, or sometimes a specific person, and what they did for us or how they made us feel. We think about that past place and time and person and feel a…
Imagine you just got in a disagreement with your colleague. You had one idea, they had another. In the moment, the stakes were high. You were adamant. You were right! And besides, they were being ridiculous. Or imagine you got in an annoying little passive-aggressive argument about nothing with your partner. Something small like who…
What do you think is the average age of the founders of most new companies? Or an even better question is, what do you think the average age is of founders of high-growth startups? The kind of start-ups that take off and scale and grow quickly? Do you think it’s 25 years old, 35, 45,…
Remember the swings on your playground from childhood? Remember how they’re built? There’s a wooden or hard rubber seat and two long chains hanging from a metal bar. That design inherently either invites someone to run to it and play, or not. The swing requires people with two arms and legs, a certain degree of…
The USWNT is exactly as unapologetically spectacular, or arrogant, as you perceive them to be. If you find team captain Rapinoe to be brash and cocky then you can find lots of articles out there that might agree with you. And if instead, you find her and the U.S. Women’s team to be confident, cohesive,…
I’m trying to play more guitar. So I took the guitar out of the closet, tuned it up, and keep it by my desk, within reach. It works. I play more. It’s a small, simple habit stack that helps me achieve a small goal. But what about longer term goals, bigger goals – the kind…
“Habits are not a finish line to be crossed, but a lifestyle to be lived.” – James Clear What is something you want to accomplish? Maybe give a great presentation? Write a book? Start a new business? Now think about who that person is who achieved that. That person is a public speaker, or a…
Remember that weird feeling when you’re in 5th grade and you see your teacher at the grocery store, just picking out bananas like a normal human? And it’s really strange because she doesn’t belong at the grocery store. She belongs in math class. Like, what’s she doing here? Or you see your mean, yelling gym…
One day, the farmer’s horse jumps the fence and runs off. The farmer’s neighbor stops by and says, “I’m so sorry. That’s terrible news.” The farmer shrugs and says, “Who knows if it’s good or bad news.” Several days later, the horse returns with six other wild horses who have followed him home. The neighbor…
I listened to an interview on our local Public Radio with (Angelo) Paul Ramunni, founder of the New England Accordion Connection & Museum Company and author of the book, Accordion Stories from the Heart. When he was a youngster, Paul’s parents asked him to learn to play the accordion – something he did not want…
Maybe it’s a function of the age, of being 12 years old. I dunno. But a few years ago, our son would keep score of everything. If I asked him to empty the dishwasher, he would say it’s his sister’s turn. If we’re stacking wood in the shed, he lets me know how many more…
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernhard Shaw It’s school vacation week here in New England and we’re out skiing with the family. It’s pretty cold, and early afternoon yesterday, we sat on the chairlift chatting about taking a break and warming our toes. There…
This is a case study about how Mindscaling collaborated with a globally distributed company over the course of a year to develop a premier leadership curriculum to change the way their managers think, and act. Starting in December 2017, together with our client, we designed, wrote, produced, built and delivered every aspect of a blended…
Have you purchased something recently? Something major like a new laptop, a car, a bicycle, or even a minor thing like a toaster, or a shirt? And when you bought it, did you pore over the reviews and try to pick the very best one, with the most options, coolest color, or lightest design? If…
Right now, over 2 million high school seniors all around the United States are applying to college. And many of those apply early, to receive an early response, and to possibly increase the odds of getting in to their dream school. Those who applied for Early Decision or Early Action, are hearing the news right…
In a report released just yesterday, teen anxiety and depression is at an all-time high. Thoughts of inadequacy and imposter syndrome plague people of all ages. We often think we’re not good enough, smart enough, thin enough. Pharmaceuticals are dispensed at record rates, and therapist calendars are booked solid. Most people, when asked, say they…
Almost anything I have ever created, built, designed or written that anyone else in the world cared about, I did on my own initiative, out of love of the work, love of the process, love of the team, and the sheer enjoyment of the experience of creating something new. I’m not saying everything I’ve ever…
Henry Ford is heralded today as a technological genius, a brilliant capitalist, even a kind and generous moralist fighting for the rights and wages of commoners. He is often referred to as the inventor of the modern age. Quotes from Henry Ford are plastered on notecards and in boardrooms everywhere. “If you think you can…
“A single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. When we stereotype others, we reduce them. We imprison them in our own small view, a dark and tiny place with no light and no room for growth.” novelist Chimamanda Adichie Isn’t…
We have a new puppy. The kids named him Wallace, although he has immediately become “Wally”. Neighbors want to hold him, get a selfie with him. He is adorable. He also creates disasters everywhere around the house, chewing, shredding, drooling, peeing everywhere. He can be a wrecking ball. He’s also learning more quickly than I…
This may surprise you, but prior to the early 1970s the word “parenting” didn’t exist. The word parent was a noun, not a verb. A parent was someone you are, not something you do. In the same way that we don’t child our parents, and we don’t husband our wives. According to Alison Gopnick, a…
Imagine you are in a room with seven other people, and the person running the meeting presents everyone with two cards. On the left-hand card is a line. On the right-hand card are three lines of differing lengths. You are asked to pick which line on the right card matches the length of the line…
Whatever you love to do, aspire to be, or dream of creating, keep at it. Keep at it every day. Even if for just a bit. Think of it as your craft, something you need to stay close to, something that requires nurturing, like gardening or singing or cooking. If you don’t attend to it,…
Do you ever feel like you don’t really connect with anyone at work? Do you feel as if your relationships at work are superficial? Do you feel as if people at work don’t really understand you? You’re not alone. “It was an average morning. I was up at seven, helped get the kids their breakfast…
Talking in front of lots of people can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. Before I go on stage, I don’t think I’m nervous. Instead I think, I’m excited. It’s a subtle change of attitude that makes a big difference. The problem in our lives isn’t stress, but instead chronic, unabated stress. A…
Our poor dog. Penny found a bone out on her morning walk. Perhaps it was in the neighbors yard, perhaps she unearthed it. But now the bone is hers – hers to carry, and own, and jealously protect. There she is. I can see her from the window, walking intently through the backyard with her…
In his wonderful book, Stumbling on Happiness, Harvard researcher Daniel Gilbert points out that often our best bet for making decisions we will both enjoy and benefit from, is to ask our peers who have made similar decisions. Gilbert points out, once we learn their point of view on the matter, we often refuse that…
Last summer a couple friends and I took our teenage kids and cycled across the United States from Seattle to Portland, Maine, and I can tell you the hardest part wasn’t doing it. The hardest part was getting to the starting line. The adventure of cycling every day for two months in strange, beautiful places…
“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” – Stephen King A performance goal is when you want to perform well. You want to shine. You want to be brilliant. You want to people to applaud. You want to be amazing. You…
“In a nutshell, advice is overrated. I can tell you something, and it’s got a limited chance of making its way into your brain’s hippocampus, the region that encodes memory. If I can ask you a question and you generate the answer yourself, the odds increase substantially.” – Michael Bungay Stanier Recently, I had a…
In brief: A lot of attention has been placed on micro-learning, but adopting new behaviors requires practice not simply memorization. Micro-learning must include micro-practice. Learning design must ask the learner to practice new target behaviors consistently over time in order to build a new ingrained behavior. We can only act our way into a new way…
Most of us move through the day without recognizing the alternatives we have and actively deciding among them. As a result, we give up the feeling of control and mastery to mindfully create options and then select among them. – Ellen Langer, Ph.D. I keep thinking lately that these are the good ol’ days. Right…
“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than to think your way into a new way of acting.” – Jerry Sternin How do we help someone learn something new, or attempt something difficult? Instead of adjusting rewards and incentives, or scaring people with negative punishments, try changing the environment. Disney’s…
“I don’t belong here. I have no idea what I’m doing. They’re going to figure out I’m a fraud.” Have you ever believed you are not deserving or worried people will reveal you as a fraud? Have you ever thought someone else could do your job better, or thought you got that bonus or promotion…
This summer three dads, and four of our teenage kids bicycled across the United States from Seattle to Maine to learn more about ourselves, our world, and what’s possible when we allow for growth and renewal. Here is another learning excerpt from the journey. This day did not turn out as any of us expected.…
Hello everyone. For the past two months, since June 8, myself with two other dads and four of our teenage kids have been cycling across the United States from Seattle to Yarmouth Maine. The point was to learn something about ourselves, our world, and provide a learning adventure for our kids. I’m publishing a few…
This is a guest post by Stephen Shapiro. It originally appeared on his website. You can preview his Mindscaling course here. Crowdsourcing has always been a popular method of problem solving. In a nutshell, crowdsourcing is when you ask a large group of people (the crowd) for their answers to a question. Polling and surveys…
“You must never confuse the faith that you will prevail in the end… with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.” That quote comes from U.S. Navy Admiral James Stockdale, who was captured by the Vietnamese, tortured over twenty times, and imprisoned for eight years during…
Achievement pressure starts young. By the time they hit high school, many kids today are overloaded with AP classes, injured or in physical therapy with non-stop athletic activities, and all the while pressured to pad out their community service resume so they can look better on college applications. The pressure is relentless. Episodes of depression…
Someone working in that situation should have had the strength and presence to say, “Hold up. We don’t do that. We don’t treat people like that. It’s not who we are.” The United Airlines event yesterday was an attack on human dignity, the most basic of human needs. The people staffing UA Flight 3411 from…
How you approach your work matters. You don’t have to repeat to yourself focus, focus, focus… there are some specific ways you can prime yourself to choose better priorities, and be more productive. How you set your mind and your body into your work can make a big impact on the quality of the work…
It’s a chaotic, fast-changing time we live in. Automation, artificial intelligence, augmented reality, cyber-threats, business bots, and the internet of things. It would seem that in this age of hyper-accelerating technology, we would need the techie skills to match. Maybe, maybe not. Recently Deloitte conducted a survey to understand the millennial generation and get their…
I actually think the same things do make most people happy. The differences are extremely small, and around the margins. You like peach ice cream; I like strawberry ice cream. Both of us like ice cream much better than a smack on the head. – Dan Gilbert Let’s say you are weighing a big decision…
This is a world of immediacy, a world of now. It’s a world of deadlines, stress, and constant demands. We have to not only deliver results at work, but also take time to read with our kids, be present and mindful with our loved ones, and get to the gym. It’s exhausting. These demands lead…
I’ve known communication experts with dysfunctional relationships, professional speakers who decline events because they are horrified to go on stage, and time management gurus who are late to meetings. I’ve met renowned thought-leaders who fabricate some of their work to get published, and personal change advisors who are terrified of change. Why is it so…
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu On March 2 1962, Wilt “the Stilt” Chamberlain had the highest scoring NBA basketball game of all time. He scored 100 points in that game, a feat likely never to be repeated. Chamberlain was the number two highest average…
This article is excerpted and edited from my new book, Small Acts of Leadership. Enjoy! As one of the most revered coaches in American history, John Wooden, the “Wizard of Westwood,” coached his University of California basketball team to an unprecedented ten national championship titles in twelve years. This remarkable winning streak included an astonishing…
The glass is not half full, or half empty. It is refillable. Your value to an organization is not in the hours you clock, the number of emails you flip, slide decks you build, and it’s certainly not in the air miles you log to get in to Zone 1 boarding. Your value is in…
Yes, you could lose your job for being inept, incompetent, missing deadlines and milestones, or simply failing to do the work. But you will not be fired for taking chances, and embracing risk and then accepting the responsibility that goes along with it. And if you are fired for taking an honest chance, with positive…
“If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?” – John Wooden In 1974 Ronald Gallimore and Roland Tharp were psychology students on the campus of UCLA. On the other side of Westwood Boulevard, across from the academic side of campus is Pauley Pavilion, where John…
Typewriters with ribbons, developed in the 1950s, were excellent at speeding up typists, but not so good at erasing their mistakes. Bette Nesmith Graham was a typist by day, and a painter by night. She wondered, “What if I could cover up my typing mistakes the same way I cover up my painting mistakes?” She…
In the 1950s, in rural Oklahoma, at a place called Robbers Cave, several researchers performed an experiment we would find unethical today. They invited twenty-two eleven-year-old boys to participate in a three week camp. The researchers advertised a wholesome summer camp experience. The experience they delivered was very different. What the researchers actually did was…
What are you thinking about when you are thinking about the things you have to do? What are you thinking about when you are thinking about obligation? Now, what are you thinking about when you are thinking about the things you get to do? What are you thinking about when you are thinking about opportunity?…
What if your boss asks you to do something you think is wrong? What if there are practices your company engages in that are just ridiculous, or redundant? Or worse, what if there is an institutionalized process in your company that you think is flat-out unethical? Maybe you work in a look-the-other-way culture, or a…
Recently our family traveled to the Virgin Islands for a vacation. Our daily choices were pretty much reading, swimming, hiking, and sunsets. And snorkeling in beautiful warm water with beautiful, strange creatures. Almost every day we would pick a beach, pack a lunch, towels and swimming gear, and head off on a small adventure. And…
Think of a time in your life when you were doing something new, and exciting, and fun. Maybe you were learning a musical instrument, trying a new sport, learning to paint, or even solving a sodoku puzzle. And then, after the thrill was gone, it got hard. It got difficult, and not easy, and not…
“Comparison is the death of joy.” – Mark Twain The most successful people don’t compare themselves to others. Instead they see excellence and talent in others as learning opportunities, not competition. It’s the difference between a fixed mindset, and a growth mindset. Named the “next Pelé” and going pro at the age of 14, Freddy…
It all started with jam. Years ago researchers Sheena Iyengar and her colleague Mark Lepper did a study in which, on one day, shoppers were offered a selection of 24 jams. The table crowded with lots of jam attracted a lot of interest. Shoppers gawked and marveled at all the jam. The next day, the…
